Christ-less Society

One of the main goals in two-kingdom theology, which is prominent in my area, seems to be the removal of Christ from culture. According to what I'm reading in Frame's book, this comes from Kline, who thought there was a religious culture and a secular culture whose lines neither could cross. This works out practically in the excitement those who have embraced this thought when they get very excited, ecstatic even, when Christian symbols and ideas are removed from the public sphere. Examples include the removal of prayer from schools (they are very anti-school prayer), removal of nativity scenes from public squares at Christmas, removal of Christian symbols from city seals. In all instances I have seen 2KTs very glad, with even an attitude that I hear more from my non-Christian friends.

In light of this, I suppose the following articles should bring great joy to those who still embrace the 'ideal" of a Christ-less culture:


Pushing Abortion Was Always a Main Goal of Obamacare


Sebelius Admits She’s Unaware of Top Religious Liberty Cases


Pro-Life Author and Champion Chuck Colson Dies

Yes, the death of someone like Chuck Colson would, at the very least, bring a sigh of relief to them. While I do not agree with everything Chuck Colson did after his conversion (I've yet to find anyone with whom I agree 100%, so it doesn't bother me) at least he did something. 2Ks seem to operate under a misguided de-emphasis on Christian living. We don't have to vote pro-life because of our faith, only as our conscience guides us. Um, what guides our conscience? Better not say your faith coz that will mean you believe in works righteousness.  I am aware that those still in 2K will not believe a word I accuse their theology of, I know, I just left it and I didn't believe what I am saying only last Fall. On this side of the 2KT Curtain, it all seems rather like a religion that requires nothing of me. As the pastor of our new church put it (though not in this context) if we were only born to watch a few good TV shows, have a few kids who watch a few good TV shows, then die, there's not much point to our creation.

Five Points

I would guess most of my friends think I've gone off the deep end by now. I listen to Christian radio. I attend an Evangelical church. I'm becoming involved in church work. I support para-church ministries. Yeah, I know, it does sound petty that people would question my theology based on those things, but such is life in this Calvinist no-man's zone. So let's go over the five points and see how I measure up, compared to what is taught around here, or rather inferred coz you'll never get them to commit themselves.

Total Depravity--Well, if I didn't believe this before, I sure as heck do now. The depraved way in which church & seminary leadership treat people makes it obvious that the heart of man is deceitful above all else, and desperately wicked. As opposed to what is inferred by many which is basically, Evangelicals are depraved but we have the corner on truth.

Unconditional Election--Yep. (and repeat what I said at the beginning of the last point) I have come to rely on this as I've struggled over leaving "The Church." The struggle comes from the inference made often in the Calvinist churches around here that to be outside one of their churches is to be unsaved. The biggest condition they place on election however is that you must have your theology perfect, which means in accordance with their theology. Anything less is Christ-less.

Limited Atonement--As with 'U' I would say that the churches here believe the atonement is extremely limited...to only those who agree with them.

Irresistible Grace--Similar to 'U' for me. But the Calvinistic churches around here use this as an excuse to offend anyone. Then, when the person leaves their church they say, "See, he wasn't saved. Otherwise he would have stayed in a "true" church."

Perseverance of the Saints--For all intents and purposes, what happened to my family in the last two Calvinistic churches we attended is the stuff the stories of ex-church goers are made of. You hear them all the time. "Yeah, I went to church, but I learned quick that Christians are just a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites." But here we are. Hoping and praying that the church we are at now will be "the one." The one that isn't judgmental. The one that isn't cruel and crass. The one that will help us. The one that will care enough to help our children. We know that ultimately our salvation has nothing to do with the church. It has nothing to do with other Christians. And we can see that the church and other Christians sometimes have nothing to do with Christ. But around here, unless you stay with a true church you were never saved to begin with. 

In reference to staying with a true church, I once heard a pastor of a Calvinist church say that you should stay regardless of the behavior of those in the church. That you, as a Christian, are bound to the church and there should be nothing, not even abuse apparently (and I learned later that this pastor was rather abusive), that should make you leave it.

Child of the King, or Evil Sinner?

I was listening to last Wednesday's sermon on Vimeo yesterday and the pastor said something that first made me cringe, but then made me think. He used the term hyper-Calvinist, then he accused such of focusing on how evil we all are.

Being a Calvinist, I cringed. I wanted to say, "Hey, now, let's not name names. Coz, you know, Fundamentalists are the same."

That's when it hit me. The Calvinists here in my area are really just theologically dressed up Fundamentalists. It's just that most of them aren't so much about behavior as they are about doctrine. Now, I've already touched on where this sort of combination leads in a previous post, so I'll take a different line this time.

My current pastor is right. Hyper-Calvinists focus on how evil we are. They neglect the focus of Scripture that says, "You are now a child of the King. You are saved from all that. 'Such were some of you, but now....'" And what they really neglect is the teaching of what the Holy Spirit does in a roll as our helper. Oh, yeah, they've got it down that He is the one who draws us to Christ because we can't do it ourselves. Very good. But that's where they leave Him. It creates a sick and twisted theology, if you ask me.

In the churches that follow after the teachings of a certain seminary which, until I review the book, will remain "unnamed" ... (hint-hint--->)

the Holy Spirit basically doesn't exist. They simply do not believe that anyone, even God, is capable of helping restrain you from sin. Oh, they'll never come out and say this, but that's how it's lived out and spoken of practically.

In other churches, with other influences, God has no power over the things of the earth. We are to live in fear of the society around us, and to protect ourselves from the unsavory elements, because God simply cannot control it.

Honestly, none of this sounds like Calvinism. I've read Calvin, more closely now that I've left the churches who claim to follow his teachings, and he never sounded like anything I hear in my area.

Dirty Pastors

Living in my area and being Reformed is like living in a small town where most all the cops are dirty. Just sayin'

Legalism & Pharisees

The interesting thing about Jesus' life and ministry is He didn't have a lot bad to say. There wasn't condemnation and curse, like in the law of the Old Testament. But when He got ticked, it was usually at the religious leaders of the day. The Pharisees (the main leaders mentioned in the NT) thought they were pretty awesome. They spent their lives in Scripture, had their theology "perfect," and looked down on the rest of the peons. Jesus wasn't impressed. He called them names, even. Mean names. He said bad things about them. He threw their money changers out of the temple in a rather violent manner.

This gives me a lot to think about.

1) I'm fairly certain I have spent the vast majority of my adult life sitting under the teaching of Pharisees. Now, of course, they would claim they weren't. They would proudly point to the fact that they make sure NOT to practice keeping the law.

As an aside: If I was an astute or intelligent person, the first time I heard them rail against the law I would have asked if the fact I shouldn't worry about keeping the law meant I could cheat on my husband and kill others. I mean, if I can't truly keep the law perfectly, those would be the ones I'd want to break. They are definitely the most enjoyable by and beneficial to me. :D

Anyway...

2) They believe their theology is perfect. Really, honestly, they believe they have it right and everyone else is an idiot.

3) Re: the term "idiot." They really feel a sense of superiority. One only has to spend all of 5 minutes in their presence as they casually insult the "apostate" preachers like Billy Graham, Chuck Smith, and, well, anyone else, even within their own denominations, who do not agree with them completely. (See "aside" above for one reason it took me so long to figure it out.)

There are darker and, imo, more sinister aspects that, if I remember, I will write about later. I think this is enough for now.

Elder Meetings

OK, a little humor...

What goes on in an elder meeting after the people deemed unfit to attend your church at a previous elder meeting leave? Seriously. Do people high five each other? Do they pat each other on the back? Do they congratulate the elder who leveled the most vicious attack against the people and say, "Wow, you were vicious like Jesus!"

Just wondering. :D

The Cardinal Rule

...of Calvinist churches in my area is "Say whatever you want about evangelicals, but don't ever say anything bad about other Calvinist churches, unless, of course, we think they are leaning too far towards evangelicalism."

I broke that rule this week. Publicly. On Facebook. For all my friends from our old church to see.

I don't think it went over too well.

As I looked at the few posts I've written so far, I saw that originally I hadn't wanted to say anything publicly about this. But the more I realize just what a horrible thing these churches are doing, the more I think maybe it's worth shaking things up a bit.

However, I realize that I can say what I want without getting snippy...like them.

I might make my next controversial post about the dance my kids will be participating in on Easter morning. No, not liturgical dance (honestly, I really am just not into it). Real, rock music video style dancing. It's gonna be great. Not the response to my post, the dance. My kids have danced for years, but never to music dedicated to glorifying God. It's great to see them dancing for Him.

Anyway, my goal is to actually learn how to deal with this entire situation without going back to my former self of piggish pride. That sort of attitude is promoted in the Calvinist churches in our area. Our new church believes that people respond to kindness more readily than vicious sarcasm. I know, who would think?

You Become What You Hate

As I worked through my fruitless search yesterday for someone like me, someone who has left the Reformed church but is still a Calvinist, I found a whole lot of ex-Calvinists. I noticed they all had one thing in common, they sounded just like all the ex-Evangelicals around here.  Angry. Hateful. Bitter.

They are angry at their Calvinist pastors for supposedly misleading them. They are hateful to anyone who still embraces Calvinism. They are bitter for the "wasted" years they spent as Calvinists.  I shuddered. It was like listening to all the "ex-Baptists" around here talk about their former lives as Evangelicals. They hate people like Chuck Smith so much they've run him into the ground in our area and have cut off any possible communication between Calvinists and their families in Calvary Chapel. Angry ex-Evangelicals are what truly pushed Calvin out of CC Bible College. The bitterness they espouse from the pulpit, from the radio, etc., became so noxious that it helped no one, but drove a wedge between parties.

They all look like each other. A warning, to me. of what I have the potential to become. Will I be a hater or will I realize that the people in these churches just simply are as deceived as I was? It's hard when you keep hearing your friends bag on Evangelicals as if they are all the same. I'm so tired of reading their FB statuses that are puffed up with pride, lacking any sort of care for their brothers and sisters in Christ whom they accuse of either being deluded or being deceivers. Or, sadly, inferring that because those people don't believe the same as we, they are not even saved.

God have mercy on us for what we have allowed ourselves to become.

Under Their Thumb

So I've been thinking a lot about why I feel like I must be the only person in the blogosphere (sp?) who has anything negative to say about Reformed churches in my area. As I've thought about people who have left our churches that we've attended over the past 20-ish years I realize they were mostly told the same thing..."You cannot speak of this to anyone." Using biblical texts that supposedly support their position Reformed churches silence opposition. It's hard, of course, to get anyone to tell you what they say to them, but I will tell you what I was told, coz, well, I suppose I'm stupid that way.

When one of our issues was finally dealt with I was reprimanded for talking to other people about the problem. Forget that I brought it up with an elder AND with a pastor. Not enough. Anyway, I can imagine what goes on in other meetings where the people are most likely threatened with a bad mark on their record if they breath a word of it. There have been some people who, if you ask, are not as silent and I might try to interview them at some future point but most of my close friends who left have said they weren't allowed to say anything.  And so the disease continues and spreads and eventually more people are pushed out of the church.

I wonder, if one were to do, say, a personality assessment of those of us who have left, if one sort of personality is more likely to say something than another. What about personal history. I have a history of abuse. My parents were abusive and I have a fairly typical "abusee" mentality. I think it's how I tolerated things that bothered me in the Reformed church for so long.

But I have another part of me, my natural personality, that has a strong sense of justice. This sense is often suppressed when I am in an abusive relationship, for obvious reasons. Eventually something snaps and I walk...no, more like I run...away...quickly. However, I notice even now, like most abused people, I am inexorably drawn back toward it. If not for my children, I would probably have returned, or at least considered it more than for a fleeting moment.

All that said, I will do a more thorough search of the internet to see if there might be others out there who are as disgusted as I am and are willing to put their reputation on the line as a result.  It's not an easy thing. Hell hath no fury like a neo-Calvinist who has been called out. (Hence the anonymity of this blog. Seriously.)

The End of the Worship Wars

...For me, at least.

I grew up in the church. I've spent approximately 43 years worth of Sundays rising early while my friends slept in. Dressing up while my friends got into their swimsuits or other Sunday activity clothes. Driving to church while my friends went off to the mall. Singing praise to Christ while my friends indulged in football.

I point this out because it is those of us around this age, who grew up from birth, in the church, that seem to have become the most involved in the "worship wars." We seem to be the ones who have the biggest stake, so we think. On this side of things I have to wonder why.

Who decided that simply because a song was written after we were born it can't be worthy of use during a church service? Who decided that the electric guitar was demeaning to the worship of God, but the organ, easily the most obnoxious instrument on the planet, brought glory to God?

When we left the Reformed church it was difficult to attend the "contemporary" service at the Baptist church. While I knew some of the songs from listening to Christian radio (I know, *gasp*), the style of worship was never one I had been comfortable with. It was fine for a concert, I thought, but not for a church service.

As we've been there for several months now, and thought back to all the problems with the Reformed churches we've attended over the past 2 decades, we've come to the conclusion that the music is not the most important thing. And last night, for me at least, sealed it.

Last night I took my oldest to a special event at church. It was supposed to be for young people but there were a lot of middle aged folks there too (mostly parents, I assume). As the music began, even louder than at the contemporary service, and the words we were to sing flashed on the screen, it began to dawn on me that to think God was not being glorified simply because a guitar and drums were being used instead of an organ or a piano would be pretty conceited.

The words were incredibly worshipful and, while I can't speak to the heart of each individual worshiper, I'm sure that as many people were praising God from their heart in that congregation as could be in a hymn singing, organ listening, congregation.

The worship wars have divided the young and the old for far too many years. The desire to hold onto the past is not a sign of orthodoxy, it's simply a sign of stubbornness.  While I probably will not switch to the 11:11 service (where they play louder music) over this, I don't have a problem with the church reaching the young through the means of their own style of music. There is an old adage in business, "lead, follow, or get out of the way." I think it's time for us to admit that by insisting on archaic worship practices (which, btw, I love--well, except the organ) we are "in the way." Yes, the gospel is enough, but, no, worship doesn't need to bore people to tears.

The Beginning of the End

So, the subtitle of my blog is How I became a closet Calvinist in a Baptist Church. I think I'll post a little bit about the beginnings. Had I foreseen the consequences of these fateful decisions...I probably would have made them a whole lot sooner.

I suppose it started with the birth of our last child. In fact, I tell my friends and older children that perhaps that is why God did not open our eyes sooner, He was waiting until we had our last child so he could be baptized and I'd have one less thread of guilt. ;) At any rate, after our last child was born we made a concerted effort to get to all services at church. There was no problem at first. It was as I had left it before my pregnancy, and so was I. The attitude, the sarcasm, the feelings of superiority, the judgementalism.

Then it hit. What? Hell, that's what. There's no other way to describe what happened in my family but Hell. The first thing I did was call the pastor of our church. I believe I've mentioned that before. Fat lot of good that did. Nary a second of follow up. Not a call, not an email, nothing. Oh, there was a compassionate look the following Sunday, but beyond that nada. At first I returned to the teaching received at the first Reformed church we attended: The pastor is busy. Don't bother him with your personal problems. It would take almost 2 more years, and whole lot more Hell, before it finally dawned on me that in a church of around 50 professing adult members (less than that as regular attenders), the pastor ought to have at least time for a phone call to suffering members of his congregation.

TBC...coz I have housework to do and my teenager is shirking his chores...again. :D

The Church of the Poisoned Mind

I've decided that churches should come with warning labels; that way people would be able to tell, before even entering the door, whether or not they'd be welcome there. Take our last church, for instance, (really, take it, I beg you)...it could have a label that says, To God's infallible and inspired Word we add the doctrine of American Conservatism. If you are not conservative enough for us in politics and dress we will have you in for a chat with our elders. See, if they'd had that label somewhere on their website or the door to the entrance, we never would have bothered. Think of all the time we'd have saved.

Here's a label most Reformed churches in our area could all put on their door, "If doctrine is not more important to you than even Godly living, you will never belong here." Look, I love doctrine. I understand its importance. My favorite books are theological books. I read Ursinus' Commentary on the Heidelberg to my kids for fun and buy my kids Joel Beeke books on CD for Christmas.I LOVE theology. But in our area, head knowledge is King. Heart knowledge is considered relatively worthless.  I'll admit the last church we attended was much better on this, it's just that when they combined American Conservatism to their doctrine it became a nasty situation.  Apparently we weren't the first people to leave over it either.

I understand that we all add something to our Christianity. I teach my kids that it is pretty much the biggest problem all churches have. But I have come to the conclusion that if that added thing detracts from compassion and love for others, it's the spot where I must draw the line. Without compassion and love we become brash and judgmental. Having been at the receiving end of church leaders who felt it their duty to judge then thrash, I can see now why this over-emphasis on doctrine is bad. Christ said to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind.  He didn't say, Love God with your mind more than your heart. Or, it's more important to make sure you have your doctrine straight than it is to love God. It's all equally important.  I wonder, now, though, if he said "heart" first because he knew our nature. It is soooooo much easier to have "sound doctrine" than to show compassion. There is no risk in having your theology straight. Just ask the devil. He knows it all. Hasn't helped him one bit.

Why Do Pastors Do This?

When you do things that are intended to get people to leave your church, such as what happened to us at the last Calvinist church we attended, should it be surprising if someone says something?

Now I am stuck. For a very brief period of time I felt that I should say something to people about why we had left our church. I had a "savior complex." I guess that is the best way to describe it. I wanted to save people from a church I knew was dying. But now I look at it differently. My contention with the church might cause some people to lose faith. Now that we seem to have made the decision to leave the church we were visiting we face this same problem. Fortunately not as many people will call us and ask why, but the few who do I don't think I can say. I suppose I will just say that "it's complicated."

I really look forward to the day when this will all be over. I just want to get on with my life not sit around wondering why people bother to go into the ministry when it's obvious they cannot love all the people of God.

"Those who love saints, as such, love all saints, how weak in grace, how mean (poor) in the world, how fretful and peevish soever, some of them may be." Matthew Henry, Commentary on Eph 1:15

So We Took our Problem to the Church Leadership

This is a post inspired by the movie Courageous. I saw the movie 2 or 3 times in the theater but watching it last night on DVD I related to something in the middle of it in a way I hadn't before.  In the middle of the movie, the main character goes to his pastor for counsel in the middle of a very difficult personal situation. (Trying not to post any spoilers here.) We've done that.  In fact, we've done that at each Reformed church we attended (by Reformed I mean any Calvinist church never mind the denominational affiliation). Obviously, throughout nearly 2 decades we've had our share of trials. In each trial we have turned to the church. In each trial were were either pushed aside or given very little biblical counsel. Ultimately this led to our final decision to leave the Reformed church and not attempt to find yet another.

We were told at the first church we attended that the pastor is too busy for the many problems of the congregation. Instead we are supposed to take it up with the elders, or for more serious problems they will direct us to a psychologist. This is problematic on many levels that we've experienced. 1) Elders are not trained. And by "not trained" I mean just that. Zero teaching of the elders on how to handle situations. They seem to do everything flying by the seat of their pants, or using their "experience" as a guide. There are churches who train their elders, I know. But we've not attended one and yet this is the viewpoint of the pastors. 2) Find a Calvinistic psychologist. Go ahead, I'll wait.  Who am I kidding? I don't have an eternity to wait until you get back to me. So we are sent to a psychologist who tells us that the real problem is generational curses. Awesome. :D

Flash over to the Baptist church we attend now. It is, membership wise, 100x larger than any Reformed church we have ever attended, yet, somehow, the pastors have time to attend to the needs of the congregation. They also train lay people to help others. They have classes to help marriage, help kids whose parents are divorced, help, period. They make available resources that will help you. They seem to be centered on helping their parishioners follow and love the Lord, then to turn around and help others do the same. They work hard to build up families through various means. Yet they definitely seem selective in what they present.

On any Sunday I can go to the pastor and tell him what ails me and can expect that he and the leadership will not just pray for us but will do everything in their power to help us. It is sad that we never found that at any of the Reformed churches we attended.